Thursday, June 1

It was just a story, this isn't really life.

Things about me:
[+] I can't be who I want to be.
[+] I'm afraid of hurting people.
[+] I can't stand being alone, and I'm always alone.
[+] I do everything, but it's still not enough.
[+] I'm worthless.
[+] I'm a disappointment.
[+] Afraid of dying, but always wanting to.
[+] Always wears a watch on my right wrist.
[+] Covers up the scars on my left wrist with black gelly braclets.
[+] I think, I don't care, enough.
[+] My Dad thinks, all I think about is sex.
[+] I'm a virgin.
[+] The time I did have sex, doesn't count.
[+] I've always wanted to take a hammer to my head.
[+] I've wanted to cut so deep that I see my own bones.
[+] I hate myself.
[+] I like to say, I'm sorry, even if there's no reason to be.
[+] I smoke a pack a day, nearly everyday.
[+] I find myself boring.
[+] I don't like eating, but I eat all the time.
[+] I keep my hair short because that's how I like it.
[+] I don't like June 22nd. It's my birthday.
[+] I hate being awake during the day.
[+] I don't like sleeping at night.
[+] I know how to speak some Spanish, German, French, and Latin.
[+] I don't care for foriegn people.
[+] I like stand-up comic.
[+] I like cartoons, more than movies.
[+] I try to always be nice. Doesnt't work, but I try.
[+] My little brother died.

Things I hate about myself:
[+] The fact my parents hate who I am. [+]
[+] My heart. [+]
[+] My thinking. [+]
[+] All the scars I ever put on myself. [+]
[+] The way my leg shakes when theres silence. [+]
[+] The way there's always music playing in my head. [+]
[+] That I hate everyone, before I get to know them. [+]
[+] I'm never jealous. [+]
[+] I take things out on the people that mean the most to me. [+]
[+] I used to take pills. [+]
[+] I'm a failure. [+]
[+] I'm a disappointment. [+]
[+] I've lost all self control. [+]
[+] I still haven't stopped cutting, though I've told others, I have. [+]
[+] I can't go one day without thinking about killing myself. [+]
[+] I always miss you, terribly. [+]
[+] The way I feel. [+]
[+] I have no life. [+]
[+] Myself. [+]
[+] The way I walk. [+]
[+] The way my hair falls to the right side of my face. [+]
[+] I'm always online, not doing my homework. [+]
[+] I want to finish school, but then again I don't. [+]
[+] I'm not allowed to be who I want to be. +]
[+] Telling someone good-bye. [+]
[+] Waking up. [+]
[+] Falling farther then I've already fallen. [+]
[+] I listen to rap, occasionally. [+]
[+] I hate being mean. [+]
[+] I don't see what others see in me. [+]
[+] My poetry. [+]
[+] etc...[+]

[6] Smoked a Cigarette:

Blogger Shandi Kincaid said...

I don't know what else to say.. I've posted comments to these on lj n yahoo but already.. so umm.. I'm just gonna say that I love you n I wish you were happier! Cheer up babe please =) Smile...

4:56:00 PM  
Blogger ♥___Kid.™ said...

I love you too. I'm cheering up. Smile will come soon. I've posted these just about everywhere. *notices the long ass message you sent me on AIM* OH ME GOSH lol

5:00:00 PM  
Blogger Babsbitchin said...

See this is what I'm talking about. You fail to see that you want to be happy but you teeter on the dark side. I know all about the dark side. You have so much shit going on in your head. That compulsion to hurt tyourself is simply to feel something other than the mundain bullshit of everyday life. You are an extremisst but it must be on your terms. You feel so much and fucking hate it. So you try to turn it off and walk on the edge. Don't think I don't know what the fuck is up. Been there done that, got guns, got straps. Baby you won't meet a meaner Bitch than me! But I see what's happening. You're in between a voice and silence. You must be who you are meant to be. That is a deep thinker. Now, thje problem with this is that you must be able to channel it without doing drugs to shut it off. I did that till I was up to 5 bags of heroin a day to shut it the fuck down. You happen to walk on the dark side, you are pulled to the dark. The shit is for real baby,let me tell you. I want to tell you to try to be in a positive atmoshere, ain't no easy task with psychic vampires and shit. But you must learn to channel the good side of yourself. If you believe in a higher power hang with it dude, Hang with him every frigin' moment. You've got a future...This I say!!

6:53:00 PM  
Blogger ♥___Kid.™ said...

Higher power. Rigghtttt. Don't believe in god or gov't. As for what your saying. I get it. 5 Bags. That's an awful lot. Sorry that you went through that. Thanks for the advice. =]

11:40:00 PM  
Blogger Babsbitchin said...

Do you believe in Satan?

3:40:00 AM  
Blogger ♥___Kid.™ said...

Maybe...lol.

Satan Rox. ^m^(>.<)^m^

12:08:00 PM  

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