Thursday, May 25

These hands were meant to hold.

Okay, so today, hmm today. Well, my mom's sick. Like always. No surprise there. Really, no, I'm not shocked. Hold thee applause. On to other news:

Butch was caught shop lifting at the local Krogers late last night. While riding along in his roto-scooter, he managed to get four adult magazines and a case of beer to fit down his well-fitted trousers. After taking his shirt of and exposing very graphic dances, he was arrested and thrown in the back of a police car. Where he is still awaiting to find out the time he gets for all this.

Hamburger was spotted switching from McDonalds to Burger King. He heard they offered more spit there. So, as a token of all his hard work, he transferred. They are now serving homosexual hamburgers at Burger King, for all who are interested.

Larson was recently released from jail, on a $200 bond. His wife posted bail. He should be at home eating home-made bread by now, and sipping tea. He was caught about three days ago giving little kids candy. In order to get them to take a "ride" on his pony. Although, he had not been caught in the action, they still are proceeding him.

Shandi has been signed onto modeling at the local hoes r' us committee. Were she was undercover as a model. She works for the CIA, or should I say, did. She was taken for leave after a series of getting the pronouciation of ten wrong. They couldn't give her checks because she couldn't unlock the vaults because of her tendacys of not being able to say the word ten, correct.

Bunny's cat was found naked in my bed this morning. No fur. No nothing. Bare as the day is. After a long night of mind blowing orgasms, the cat was exhausted. When she came to recieve the cat in the morning, it was tired. It couldn't walk, and I doubt it will for a few weeks. After last night, I don't think it will ever be the same. =]

[5] Smoked a Cigarette:

Blogger Shandi Kincaid said...

hoes r'us. wtf babe.

1:37:00 PM  
Blogger Shandi Kincaid said...

I miss you.. I'm mad that you wrote about me n it wasn't nice.. well no.. not mad upset =\ But oh well.. I'll talk to you later n see you tomorrow. I love you n I hope your in a good mood =)

3:31:00 PM  
Blogger The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife said...

Hamburger didn't offend me. Not at all. Or at least, not that I noticed.

Thanks for stopping by to apologize, though. If he ever does offend me, I'll just reread your apology!

6:50:00 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Happy (whatever you call this long weekend)!

9:15:00 AM  
Blogger ♥___Kid.™ said...

I have no clue about holidays anymore, man. I'm home-schooled, so I don't have reminder. I don't look at calenders either.

11:47:00 AM  

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